Did you miss me? I bet you did.

I'm back! Yay. It has been 3 months since the last time I wrote. I'm sure my "regulars" aren't regulars anymore - but I will just announce my return on facebook and all will likely be better.

So a lot has happened in 3 months. I've been kind of busy with a baby. And then work started. And I started grad school. So free time is at a premium. Other than that though...

Dominic is getting so big! He is going to be 4 months on Friday. It's crazy how fast it has gone by, but at the same time I really can't remember what life was like without him. I think the most frustrating thing about being a parent is listening to older adults in your life (parents, aunts, uncles, etc.) tell you things as if you are an idiot. It is especially frustrating when they think it's not them. Everyone does it. When I point it out too, they are always like I can't help it, it just happens, you'll understand when Dominic has a child. No apologies, no comment about how they know we are competent...just excuses. I am also pretty sure that happens to everyone that has a child so I can imagine you are feeling my pain right now.

The 3 month mark for Dom was where the fun really began. He is standing up now -he holds onto our fingers with his hands. It's wicked cute. Last night he stood up on his own - like used his own legs to push himself up. Usually we pick him up to standing position and he will stand. That was pretty exciting. I haven't actually caught him rolling over, but there are nights we put him in his crib facing one way and go in there later and he is facing the complete opposite direction. He has also found his voice over the last month. He "talks" like a maniac (must get it from his dad...). It is ridiculously cute. He really tries to have conversations with us. I am really enjoying parenthood right now.

Anyway, I will make an effort to write again. I promise. Maybe even this weekend!! if you want to see cute pictures of Dom go here: http://albums.phanfare.com/delbarone

Soccer...and the 4th

So I am completely crazy. I had a baby 4 weeks ago tomorrow. Dominic will be a month old on Thursday...time has flown. Anyway, I am completely crazy because I signed up to play soccer. It starts in 2 weeks. Ha. I can walk a mile right now and not collapse and die. I'm not sure what happens if I push too much past that. This is a good idea. Whatever, I need to get rid of this giant amount of baby fat and I hate the gym. Despite what people seem to tink, I actually like to do active things, but not at the gym. I need a purpose, like say scoring a goal, or trying to get the ball from someone that is trying to score a goal. We'll see how it goes. I am playing with Dennis, which is either going to be great or not. Probably nothing in between. I'm going to have to get better at listening to his constructive critiscms. He is excited, and has already scheduled a time for my mom to watch the baby so we can go kick the ball around and "run up and down the field passing the ball". Sounds great :) (I appreciate his enthusiasm...I really do, but running up and down a field when it is 90 out for no reason is really not all that exciting to me.) I am going to play one night a week and Dennis is going to play 2 nights a week. I am going to play on the team that has them most girls, because I need a sub. The league has rules that you have to have 3 girls playing at all times - and last season they only had 3 girls on the team and one isnt coming back. So, I am only going to play if they have more 3 girls since I really will die if I have to play an entire game. This should be interesting.

So Dennis set himself on fire on the 4th of July. Stone cold sober too. He is ok. He ended up with minor facial burns. We were at a cook out at our friend Beccy's (yes she spells it wierd) house. She has a charcoal grill and there were a few too many matchlight charcoals in it, so the flame was really high. Well, long story short, he went to open the grill after moving it away from the house, but didn't realize the front vent was closed and this giant flame came up in his face. He burnt his cheeks, nose and lips, and his eyebrows and beard caught on fire. Fortunately, he had pot holder in his hand and was able to snuff the beard fire out. All in all, it could have been much worse, but it still freaked us both out.

Stupid Hair

So a few weeks before Dominic was born, I decided I wanted my hair to be short. Specifically, like Jenny McCarthy. I saw her on some talk show preaching about not vaccinating your children because they will have autism, so it's better to risk them getting diseases that will definitely kill them, rather than have the remote possiblity they will get autism and have some barriers to overcome in life. Right. So anyway, back to my hair. Well sometime in the next few weeks following that, I was watching a makeover show and the lady said she wanted extensions because she hated her short hair. She said she cut it after her kiddo was born like every new mom does and regrets it every day. I laughed and said I won't be that woman. I will like my hair being short because Jenny McCarthy looks so cute. Well, big surprise...I hate my hair. I hate it with a passion. It is so unflattering I don't even like to go out. It's horrible. It really is. Now I have to wait forever for it to grow. To torture myself even more, I just looked at wedding pictures with Dennis - when I was much skinnier than my post baby body and when I had longer hair. That was a self esteem boost. Now I want lypo and hair extensions.

In other news, I want another baby. Shocking, I know. Especially after the post a few weeks ago where I was pissed at everyone for saying I would want another one. But I do. He is just so cute and fun that I can't imagine never making another one. We haven't sprung this news on my mom yet. She'll be pissed because of my health issues. She'll get over it. Who knows though, maybe I'll get over this want too - we'll see.

Dominic si doing great though. It's amazing how quickly babies change. They have such rapid development in the beginning of their lives. I love it. He is awake a lot more each day and reacting to things we do. He really enjoys his tummy time each day to practice lifting his little head. It's cute to what him try so hard to lift it up, only to get tired after a few seconds of looking around. Sometimes he even gets really frustrated and yells which is very distinct from crying.

I posted some pictures on a website. http://albums.phanfare.com/delbarone
They aren't spectacular, but they are better than nothing.

Babies don't smile my ass.

Dennis was being silly with him and he smiled. Don't try to tell me it is just gas, because it isn't. That is everyone's answer to everything, but he actually smiled. It was very exciting.

11 days later...

So it as been 11 days since Dominic made his appearance. Dennis and I can already see such a difference in him in such a short time. I think he is finally putting on some weight. We'll see if I'm right when we go to the doctor on Monday. So I know most of you that are reading this want me to write about how cute he is and all the different things he is doing and post lots of pictures. With time, I will do that, but today I feel like writing about me. (Big surprise...)

So I am not dumb. I was aware from the beginning of this journey that my body would never be the same. I knew that when I was leaving the hospital I wouldn't be back to how I was pre-pregnancy (which itself wasn't all that great) immediately. I am actually sorta surprised at how much has fallen off so quickly without really doing much other than watching what I eat. I am aware that some women never even lose the weight that they gained during pregnancy. This is what I think is crap. You endure 9 VERY LONG MONTHS of nastiness to your body. Then for the icing on the cake, you push a child out of an area that really isn't big enough for a child (hence the need for episiotomies). Then even after all that, you need to now take care of him. Although all they do at first is eat, sleep and poop it is a very tiring job trying to recover from child birth and care for a newborn. Really, that is all ok though. The kicker for me is that I did all this stuff - pregnancy, no work, boredom, childbirth, feedings, diaper changes, lack of sleep - and I can't even make myself feel cute to make up for it. (Obviously the child itself is a reward. I feel like that is implied, hence why I love him DESPITE all this. ) When we finally had an opportunity to go out, what happens? I spend 20 minutes crying because I have nothing to wear. And I really don't. It's not the usual closet full of clothes and you just don't like anything crying. I literally have no clothes that fit me, except sweatpants and tshirts. Sexy. Maternity clothes are already too big (which is a good thing) but regular clothes are not even close to fitting. Awesome.

So that is where I am right now. I think it is only fair, that after a pregnancy a women's body immediately be fixed. Not even to pre-pregnancy, to WHEREVER SHE WANTS IT TO BE. So, if I want my body to be the size it was when I graduated from high school, then that is what I should get. Without any work. Just as a reward for sacrificing my body for so long. I really think that is the cure to post partum depression.

5 days later...Happy Father's Day too.

(the post below this may say it was posted today (thank heaven for epidurals) but I actually wrote that a few days ago, and forgot to hit publish and just logged off. Oops)

I feel like I got hit by a bus. A really big bus that didn't even put its brakes on. From the front and the back. Parts of my body are sore that I didn't even realize could be sore. It really is great fun to recover from birth AND have a newborn to take care of. Good thing he is cute.

Now I need to vent a tiny little bit...

1. People are already asking us when we are having another child, which I expect. However, when we say we aren't, everyone says we will change our minds. We say that we won't and really don't get into it. Then when they push a little more, and make it seem like we are young and dumb, we tell them why. So here is why: The doctor's never wanted me to be pregnant in the first place. It was way too risky based upon my previous medical conditions. I was really very lucky to come out of this the way I did, as was Dominic. Dennis and I thought long and hard about the risks and benefits for ONE child...we decided before we were even pregnant with Dominic that the risks were way to high for me, and one successful pregnancy was more than we could ever ask for. The doctor's have advised that also. Especially with all the scares about Dominic at the end of the pregnancy. So the point, we are not having another child. If we decide the Dominic needs a brother or sister, we will adopt. So instead of pushing us that we only feel this way because we are tired, think about the fact that we already put my life on the line to have Dominic, and feel it was completely worth the risk, and be grateful that everything is as wonderful as it is and everyone is here to enjoy it.

2. Times have changed. Dad's stay in the room the whole birth, feed babies, change diapers, do laundry, etc. I'm not a bitch or lazy or bad wife, I am realistic. I gave birth 5 days ago, have battle scars that you don't want to know about and have every right to sit my ass down on the couch and have Dennis change a diaper or 2. We actually take turns! It really is a fascinating concept. Just because that isn't what happened in your relationship, whether you are 100 or 26, doesn't mean it isn't normal in others.

3. No he isn't going to fall. Yes I am being careful. His neck is supported just fine. It is ok to hold him this much. Yes, he is allowed to leave the house right away. He looks like both of us.
Just a few of the statements I say 300 times a day.

Ok, enough venting.

So today is Dennis' first father's day! I was changing Dominic's diaper this morning and had the news on. Dennis is in bed sleeping very peacefully. The lady on the news starts talking about the Newport Folk Festival, and how it isn't really a folk festival because most of the bands playing aren't folky. Then she says fronted by rock bands PHISH, The Black Crowes and Jimmy Buffet....blah blah blah. OMFG. I like jumped on Dennis and said Phish is playing at the folk festival and he freaked out and jumped out of bed and was like omg buy tickets and literally ran around the room. He had received a few email articles of the last weeks that phish was talking about a reunion...so it all made sense to us since Trey was signed up to play at the festival already. Turns out she read the copy wrong because she is a bitch. It is still just Trey scheduled to perform, not phish. What a way to break a guys heart on his first fathers day.

Thank heaven for epidurals...oh and little boys too.

It's official! I am a mommy. Dominic Charles DelBarone was born on June 10, 2008 at 6:07pm weighing in at 6lbs 7oz and is 19 inches long. I currently have no pictures to post. Not for lack of taking them, but because Dennis can't find the cord to hook the camera to the computer. So we can't take any of our pictures off yet. If he doesn't find it this morning, I am sending him to purchase a new one.



So let's talk labor. If you refer back to some previous posts, you will recall how I was in denial about labor. I never really came up with a "plan". My plan - get an epidural, have a baby, hold him. That is almost exactly what happened too!



So Tuesday morning, as I was writing my blog entry, Women and Infants called and said they were ready for me. So I finish the entry and Dennis and I head over. At this point, I am a bit nervous, but about trivial things - will the epidural hurt? I didn't shave for 2 days, will the nurses and doctors be grossed out? What if I poop during labor? - not serious things like, will everything be ok with Dominic. At that point, I had pretty much convinced myself that the doctors were being overly cautious and that Dominic was actually bigger and more normal than they predicted (I was right...as usual ). Anywho, we got to the hospital without incident...



So they take us to our room for Labor and Delivery. It was very weird walking into it, all I could think about was how that was the place that I would finally get to hold Dominic and see his little cheeks and kiss them. They have the little baby warmer thing all set up and ready for him from the moment you walk in. I stared at it from the bed for probably the first 2 hours, picturing what it would be like to see him in it. After about 45 minutes of paperwork talk and discussing with the doc and nurse what our plan was vs what their plan was (it was the same...healthy baby, healthy mom, how we got there didn't matter to me), we started the induction medicine.



So I was already 5 cm when they started the medicine. My doc thought that would mean this would go fast. It didn't. It took me almost all day to go from 5cm to 7cm. We were a little frustrated. More because we were so excited to meet Dominic, and the longer you take to dilate on the medicine, the more likely they are to give you a c-section, which honestly, I didn't want to recover from. I was definitely not in any pain. Fortunately, going from 7 to 10 took about an hour and we were all ready!! Yay!

I'll spare you the graphic details of what happened next. But let me tell you, I will never think of a vagina the same way again. Or a uterus. That is quite the organ.

It was the best feeling in the world when they held Dominic up and I heard him cry. It's one of the only times that hearing someone cry makes you happy. Unless you are a jerk. Anyway, I can honestly say that all this crap for the last 9 months was worth it. Every second. I still hated being pregnant. And do not ever want to do it again. But I am glad I did it once.

Holy Cow!

So this is my last blog entry as pregnant lady...which is surprisingly bittersweet. I am beyond excited to think about how I get to hold Dominic today. I get to FINALLY see what he looks like and kiss his little cheeks. But, it really is wierd to think that after today, I will likely never be pregnant again. All I ever did was complain about how horrible pregnancy is. And it really is horrible. Don't let people fool you when they say it is beautiful. They forget. As I am sure I will too. The baby is beautiful, even if they are ugly, the pregnancy sucks. But regardless, this has been my identity for 9 months, and today, that goes away. I swear it is so strange how for 25 years of my life I wasn't pregnant, but I honestly do not even remember what I am like not pregnant. I am almost a little nervous to find out. It will obviously be different than anything I ever was before, because now I will be a Mommy. A whole new identity. Just like that.

While I am sitting here thinking about this whole journey in my head, I am already forgetting all the sucky things. I guess it is just because this day is what you have been enduring all that for, and that is totally overwhelming.

You have hope when you get married that it will last forever. Why would you ever get married if you didn't think that was possible? But it isn't guarunteed. Becoming a parent is the only thing in life that lasts forever. Even in death, you are still someone's parent, and they are still your child. Although I have felt from the moment we found out we were having a baby that this was my child, there is really nothing like the feeling of today. Beginning today, I will no longer be simply Becky - I have some pretty important "titles" in my life right now - wife, teacher, friend, sister - but now I will add Mom, which is by far the most important one.

I know I usually try to keep my blog light hearted, maybe even throw in a few jokes to keep you laughing, so sorry for being serious. It is just such a crazy thing to feel right now and to really have no idea how to express it. I have no idea if I want to sit here and cry while I am writing this, maybe because I am sad that this is all over, and definitely because I am happy that this whole new thing is starting. Maybe I will just cry for both at the same time. :)

I will be back writing tomorrow probably. Women and Infants has wi fi. I can't promise though. I do promise that Dennis will send people pictures and I will do my best to update with pictures as soon as I can.

Until next time...with my new baby!

PS: Dennis, I love you.

The last days as a pregnant momma...

So today could officially be my last day as a pregnant lady. Hallelujah! I feel like I have been pregnant forever. I sort of have. If you count the miscarriage we had right before getting pregnant with Dominic, it really seems like I have been pregnant for 2 extra months. Still not as long as Leigh though...having 2 babies in like 20 months! :)

I go to the doctor at 1:30 today. Last time I was there, they had said that if I was not in labor before today, they would induce tomorrow night and the baby would be here by Wednesday. That is what I have my heart set on. If they change that, I will kill them. Seriously. Unless of course, it becomes earlier :) Then I will kiss them. I just feel like you can't tell a pregnant woman that she is going to have her baby on one day, and change your mind and make it later. It is mean. It is so annoying to be this pregnant that one day really does make a HUGE difference. I had such a hard time sleeping last night thinking about the possibility of meeting Dominic in the next few days..and then when Dennis left for work I tried to go back to sleep and made it for like an hour..and now I am just crazy with excitement and anticipation. This is going to be the longest morning..

A sigh of relief

This morning Dennis and I went in the for the super special ultrasound. So apparently they make all different kinds of ultrasound machines. Most regular ob offices have a regular ultrasound machine. It gets the job done, until they think something might be wrong, then they send you to the super expensive, crazy detailed ultrasound machine. This ultrasound machine is apparently made specifically for baby ultrasounds, as opposed to being used to detect problems in other organs or blood clots in regular people, etc. Anywho, we go...

The ultrasound tech was really nice and explained that she was going to keep the screen facing her while she took all the pictures for the test and after she was finished, she would show us the baby then have the specialist doctor come talk to us about the results. Since the baby is at full term, ultrasounds aren't as exciting as they used to be. Even as a small baby, he is so cramped, it is hard to get detailed images of him so we only looked at him for a minute or so. So the doctor comes in after and says "If your baby isn't too small raise your hand" and I just stared at him and he picked my arm up! Yay!!! Everything came back great for Dominic. He has no blood clots in him, or the placenta, or the umbilical cord. He is measuring in at a little over 5 lbs, which is still pretty small, but it is in the 14th percentile instead of the 10th...and based on observations from other babies, most babies over the 10th percentile still continue on with normal life, they just start out small. A huge sigh of relief. Like he said, this is just an estimate of his weight...so they could be a little off, but everything does look good for him. (Keep in mind that they told Kat Logan was going to weigh like 13 lbs when he was born...and he was like 7 and change) So sometimes they are wrong...but even if they are wrong and he is a little bit smaller, the point is that he is still getting all his nutrients and oxygen and all that because there are no blockages. That is way more important than a couple of ounces.

There was one part of the appointment that wasn't as successful. My amniotic fluid is really low. Basically an average preggo has 10-20 cm of amniotic fluid in her uterus. If it goes below 5cm, they automatically do a C-section and take out the baby because that isn't necessarily enough for him to breath with. I am at 5.9cm. Great. But I am also 4 cm dilated (woo hoo..exciting for the birth, not for walking around like a normal person) so if I am getting close to delivery, then that is ok. He seems to think that I should be ok as long as it is monitored. He was going to call my regular OB to see what they wanted to do. I am assuming since I haven't heard from them, I am ok for now. I am going in on Monday to get the full details of the induction anyway, so maybe that is enough to wait until then. My only concern now is that with a low amount of fluids, they usually feel more comfortable doing a c-section to get the baby out faster so he doesn't aspirate. But honestly, at this point ALL I care about is that he is out safely..and whatever way that has to happen is the way I want.

So overall, this was a day filled with good news. The baby is normal, and wonderful, and healthy and just tini tiny and will be extra fun to snuggle.

Very Quick Update

Doesn't look like I will have the special ultrasound today. Most likely tomorrow.

I'll let you know :)

I'm back :)

So I changed the name of my blog. I am totally copying the host of Chelsea Lately on E!. She wrote a book (#1 on the New York Times right now) called Are you there Vodka? It's me Chelsea. I don't even watch her show...and I haven't read the book. But I saw her on Jay Leno promoting the book and I laughed a lot at the title, because sometimes I really feel that way. Plus, it's fun to take something from your childhood (Are you there God? It's me Margaret.) and make it fun for your adulthood.

Anyway, I have been out of commission because I didn't feel like writing. That's really it. I didn't have anything I wanted to say so that the whole world (that of course reads MY blog) could comment about it. I'm feeling more open and social now.

So exciting news on the baby front: If I don't go into labor before next Tuesday (June 10th) they are going to induce and he will be here on Wednesday June 11!! AAAAAH! I am currently 3 centimeters dilated and the doc said that she would be surprised if I waited all the way til next Tuesday, so we'll see what happens.

The not so great news about this...it seems that the baby has basically stopped growing in the last few weeks. He is only measuring out at about 4.5 to 4.75lbs and should be measuring out at at least 6 to 8 at this point in the pregnancy. They don't know exactly why this is happening. The entire pregnancy I have been monitored extra because of all the blood clot history that I have. I have had ultrasounds at least once a month and sometimes more, and everything has been wonderful. He was growing really well. Basically measuring out in the 75th percentile. Then suddenly he stops, and is measuring out below the 10th percentile for his gestational age. This can be caused by a few things, but they are thinking it is either a blood clot in the umbilical cord or small once in the placenta. The weird thing is that I am on blood thinners to prevent blood clots, BUT the two types I have been taking are made so that they do not travel to the placenta. The placenta is a natural blood clot filter. If any blood clots try to get the baby, the placenta traps them so adding blood thinners that travel through the placenta can cause the baby to have blood that is too thin, which is very dangerous. Anyway, I was on fetal monitoring for a while yesterday and the baby is behaving normally. His heart rate is great and his activity level is high, which means he is not experiencing any kinds of stress from this potential problem. Since he is still behaving normally, they are going to try and wait that extra week to give him a little more time to develop his lungs. I am going for a specific kind of ultra sound tomorrow that also shows the blood flow through the placenta, umbilical cord and baby. I had one of these on my legs when they found the first blood clot I had a few years ago. Very helpful stuff. As long as everything looks normal, we will wait it out until next week. If they see anything that could even suggest potential harm to the baby, I will have him tomorrow. Instinct is telling me that nothing is majorly wrong and it would be much better for him to wait this extra week. But, take that with a grain of salt because I had no feelings that there was a problem to begin with. I swore up and down that I would go into labor on June 17. I was obviously wrong.

Dennis and I are actually dealing with the news really well. We have total faith in whatever higher being we decide to have faith in today, that everything will work out as it should. Stress will not help that. We are very excited to have the opportunity to have our baby, regardless of his size or the potential problems it can pose for his future. Right now, we just have to do our last minute preparations to make everything as comfy for everyone as possible. I know there are a few of you reading this and freaking out (probably Kat ;) ) but honestly it is ok. I'll let you know what happens with the test tomorrow.

Oh and by the way, in the middle of all this, we moved back to my parents. Awesome. Tell you about all that another time.

Blame Nicole

Becky --

[adjective]: Extremely extreme!

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Dennis --

[noun]: A beat poet working the streets

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Dominic --

[noun]: A real life terminator

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

blah.

Blah. I have been so not into blogging lately. I was thinking about making the blog private because of dumb people reading it that really have no reason to be...other than that they are trying to be a part of a life they aren't in. But to make it private, I have to list the email addresses of people who are allowed to read it and that is to much work. So I just have to accept that these people are reading and move on.

So we didn't get the house (another reason I didn't write...). I am sad about it. Well I was sad about it. I am pretty much over it now. Obviously it wasn't meant to be, but I had high hopes. So we are back to the search. Which is the worst part. It is fascinating how disgusting some houses are - and I don't mean messy, I mean like actually disgusting. You REALLY have to have an imagination to see the potential in some houses!

Yesterday was my birthday. Being 8 and half months pregnant you can imagine the rager that I had. I think Dennis and I were asleep before 9. I even missed American Idol. It really was extremely uneventful, but that was my choice. There were many people requesting a celebration of some sort, but I REALLY hate getting dressed and being out. I am so uncomfortable. The thing that makes me laugh the most is that people are like, wow you are so small for 8 months. Ha. It's all relative. I may be small compared to some one else, but I am not small compared to not being pregnant so it still sucks. Thanks though.

So I am totally addicted to Slurpees. It doesn't have to be an actual slurpee, but some kind of frozen juicey thing. It is my current craving. I had two yesterday! I think I could feel the sugar turning to fat in my ass and thighs. Oh well...Dominic needs sugar doesn't he?

Another exciting post for you...sorry I suck so much. I'm just not feelin it.

I think I am officially a grown up...

So I am officially a grown up. I guess I could have been officially considered a grown up a while ago, but it is really starting to set in now. I had my baby shower and now have an apartment full of baby stuff and we put an offer in on a house. It's kind of wierd that the house offer makes me feel more grown up than the baby. I guess because I have been pregnant for 8 months and only house shopping for one...so I have had less time to mentally prepare. :)

First lets talk about the baby shower. I actually can't believe that the baby shower is over. I remember when my mom booked the shower how it seemed so far away and I thought about what it would be like to be that pregnant. I was so crazy at one point (I still am crazy but in a different way) that I actually WANTED to be really pregnant and showing a lot. I thought it was so cute. Haha. I was so dumb. I am now that pregnant and feel very uncute. The shower was successful though. It was nice to see so many people that I haven't seen in a while and to get all sorts of baby stuff! I do have a mjor complaint though (you knew I would). My mom and her friends were very adament that I open my presents at the shower. I HATE opening presents in front of people..and I really don't enjoy watching people open presents. I am often so uncomfortable in chairs for an extended period of time that I get a bit cranky...and I had on a dress which made it awkward to sit while trying to open present and not flash everyone. But, my mom paid for the shower and wanted the presents opened there, so that is what I did. Well, it was definetly not as bad as I imagined it to be. We were able to set up an assembly line and go very fast..we were done with eating, dessert and presents within 2 hours. The complaint comes in regarding my mom's attention span during the present opening. She didn't even watch me open my presents!! She was sitting kinda in the back with her friends (the same ones that said I had to open them...) and they were talking, making all sorts of noise and not paying attention at all. Generally, this wouldn't bother me, but these are the people that said I had to open them. AND THEY DIDN'T WATCH! Halfway through, I yelled to my mom asking her what the last thing I opened was. She had no idea. Whatever.

I did get lots of really nice gifts and lots and lots of gift cards and money! We were able to basically buy everything we needed for the baby. We have a few things left - mostly odds and ends. We need more receiving blankets, socks, some lotions, sheets, etc. But all the big things are purchased. Which is a HUGE stress relief. However I am now trying to decide if I even set the stuff up since we have put an offer on a house.

The house is a foreclosure, so the process from if they accept the bid (think good thoughts about that..because its ALOT less than what the house is worth) to when we move in is fairly short. We don't have to wait for people to find a place to live or move out. There is definetly some work that needs to be done to the house. But since my stepdad is a contractor and has temporarily retired (he says he is really retired but I know he's lying) he has lots of time to work on it and is actually quite excited to. We probably have about a month or so worth of work before moving in. We want to put all new floors, a new bathroom, a semi-new kitchen and new paint. Sounds like a lot - but it actually isn't that much work. This is all for cosmetic purposes, so it's not like a gutting of each room, its more like an update. Anyway let me tell you a bit about the house. It is a 3 bedroom cape with a 2 car garage. There is one full bath upstairs and a half bath on the first floor. All 3 bedrooms are upstairs and are actually a nice size. There are like a million closets (which is HUGE for me - because all I ever complain about is how we have no closet space). The basement is almost fully finished. There is a family room area and a separate work room that has like a sink and cabinets. There is also a mud room in between the garage and the kitchen and a sunroom off the living room (which has a really nice fireplace). The house is on a nice sized corner lot with a fire place in the backyard. It also has a covered patio. I know it is impossible for you to picture but I am excited.

I'll keep you updated!

Nipple Stain Alert

So before I start I am adding a disclaimer. This post could potentially be too much information for some of you. I am giving you fair warning now.


So Dennis is on vacation this week. It's really nice to have some company around. He even actually responds to me, unlike Doozer who usually just licks my face. Anyway, this morning we are laying in bed, waking up and Dennis pokes my boob. I'm like seriously? It's 8 am. But then he says "You've got a stain." Confused, I look down at my shirt - and sure enough, I have a stain. Not just one stain, but TWO stains. A wet one and a dry one. And suddenly I realize where they came from - MY NIPPLE!

So my initial reaction is embarrassment. It doesn't matter that Dennis is my husband and has witnessed many embarrassing things in my life. This was completely embarrassing. But I quickly went from embarrassed to nervous - did this mean that Dominic was coming soon? I'm so not ready for that. So at 8am, I decide the best thing to do is call my mom. She immediately thinks something is wrong, who would call her at 8 am while she is on vacation? So I tell her what happens. And basically she laughs at me and tells my to buy some nipple pads. NIPPLE PADS?! Great.

Now I am aware this is normal during pregnancy. In fact, in a lot of women it happens much earlier in pregnancy. But that doesn't really matter. The point is that MY nipples are leaking. This is not something I was ready for. This is something that happens to women who have a baby and breastfeed. I am not that person yet. I still have about two months to prepare myself for this. I'm not even planning on breastfeeding. This is just ridiculous.

And too make things that much better, Dennis recommends we come up with some kind of nipple stain alert. That way he can tell me that I have leaky nipples in front of people without actually saying it. Right, because they won't notice the big wet spot over my boob. As if you don't feel uncomfortable enough being in your third trimester, this happens. You really can't even hide this one. I can hide stretch marks and the fear that if you laugh too hard you will pee a little, well most of the time you can hide that too. But nipple leakage? There really is no hiding this. My boobs attract enough attention with their current size, but now with little puddles on them? Sigh.

I didn't even really want to write this in my blog. But I know it's funny. Because it is. But now I have this fear that you will all stare at my chest and wait for them to leak so you can laugh at me. Thanks for being so supportive bitches.

Wow! It's been a while!

Hi Friends. I kind of got off the blog thing the past two weeks. I guess I kind of forgot about it. Ooops. :)

So last week I spent a day with Dennis in the emergency room at Women and Infants hospital. Fun. I had been having all those preterm labor symptoms again (no I didn't have to poop) and they had lasted for about 3 days. So I caved and called the doc - they wanted me to go to the emergency room right away because it was definitely concerning, especially since my blood clot problem causes some women to have their babies earlier. Awesome. So Dennis comes to get me from work and we head to the hospital. Although it is always scary to be sent by the doctors to the ER, I KNEW I wasn't having the baby. I don't know how to explain it. I am not a doctor and do not usually question what my doctors tell me, but I knew I wasn't having the baby. I went anyway though, because at the same time that I knew I wasn't having him, I also have never had a baby before...shocking I know...so I could have been wrong. Well, I wasn't. I did not have the baby and I was not in preterm labor. Although some of the symptoms I was having were also symptoms of preterm labor, the major one that signify labor (like dilated cervix etc.) I did not have. Here is their diagnosis: The baby is really low. He is down a bit lower than most babies at this point in the pregnancy and is causing a lot of pressure on my uterus, pelvis and the ligaments that hold them up. There is almost nothing I can do about it. Nice. So they basically told me to limit my activities. The more I walk around, the more this will bother me. Which is true. So it's not bed rest, it just more rest. This is of course much better than bed rest. But it is also annoying. Mostly because I am actually bothered when I walk around. It's not like I feel fine and have to sit around because the doc says so. I am actually extremely uncomfortable and can't do things that I want to do. Grrr.

So a week after this happened we were scheduled to go to the zoo for Karen's birthday. Not exactly the best place for someone who can't walk around. But, being the planner that I am, I had already requested the presence of a wheelchair, because before I even went to the ER, I knew I had trouble walking for extended periods. So Dennis got the pleasure of pushing me around in a wheelchair all day on Sunday. :) So I guess it isn't all bad.

So I'm hungry now, and am going to eat. Stayed tuned for stories about E and Nicole's wedding reception and the joy's of third trimester pregnancy.

Yay for new cars!

I bought a new car yesterday! Yay! Well, not new new, but new to me, which is new enough. It is a Ford Escape. It's black. I am excited. I'm even more excited that I convinced my hippy husband that it was ok to own an suv. When we went out to dinner last night, I let him drive, because I am so nice, and he was a little disturbed that he was driving an suv. It was pretty funny. Another exciting thing about this car is that it is actually mine. I have always had cars that either had someone else's name on them in addition to mine, or that were actually my parents. This one is all mine people. Which to some, isn't a big deal. But that was a very big deal to me. I actually almost cried. The sales guy laughed at him. If he only knew.

Anyway, Dennis and I were discussing last night how funny it is that we are so easily turning into parents. Even without trying. I drive a cute SUV so that I can fit all the multitudes of baby things that you need to travel with (I will not buy 5 strollers in a 7 month period like someone I know :) ) and Dennis drives a Subaru Forester, which is a wagon - very soccer dad. But when we bought these cars, neither one of us really discussed the parenting benefit of them. Actually, that is not entirely true - once I had my heart set on the Escape, I used the parenting card to get Dennis to agree to the SUV. But that was just a bonus :)

Only 10 more weeks til the induction. Wow! Time is flying by. I've started having Braxton Hicks contractions. They are annoying. Braxton Hicks contractions (BHC) are pretty much false alarm contractions. Your uterus is actually contracting, but it does not have anything to do with labor. Every pregnant woman's uterus contracts throughout their pregnancy, but not all women can feel the BHC. I can. They are annoying and make me more uncomfortable, but they really aren't that big of deal. I had a few nasty ones last nights before I fell asleep. Those pissed me off. They make you very uncomfortable and unable to fall asleep. I've noticed that I get them on the days that I have been out and about for most of the day. Maybe that is a sign that I shouldn't be out and about for most of the day :)

So I must be off - Dennis and I are visiting a friend from Florida who is in Boston. Very exciting!

I've had an uneventful week - sorry

So it's been about a week. And really not that much has happened. Hence the lack of writing. Here are a few highlights from the last week.

Friday night I went with my mom and sister to Bingo at Foxwoods Casino. Laugh all you want. It is actually really fun. For $15 you get to have an evening of entertainment and potentially win some money. I've never spent so little money at a casino. I didn't win. I would have written a lot sooner to rub it in all your faces if I had. It's funny though, because I said to my mom and sister that I didn't really care about winning, if I win, I win, but I'm not going to get all intense about it. The next game I was one number away from winning and some lady calls bingo. What a bitch. I was so mad. I yelled out a few choice curse words...probably too loud. My mom and sister were laughing so hard. I couldn't help but laugh too. So much for not being intense about winning. :) Upon my return home, Dennis had invited a few friends over. They were only there for about a half hour after I got home, but in that half hour, Steve brought up a trip to the wienie joint. For those no Rhode Island readers, wienies are these interesting hot dog type things that you always would eat after a night of drinking. A lot of times instead of stopping for breakfast after a long night out, people in RI will stop for wienies. Anyway, he's like, who's up for a trip to the wienie joint? Everyone laughs and I'm like sure. So they all start reminiscing about stopping at this one particular wienie joint after nights of drinking in high school and college vacations and I'm just sitting there because I was only in middle school at the time of these escapades... So story time ends and people start getting ready to leave...and no one even brings up the wienie joint again. Now people, I am pregnant. When I get an idea in my head about food, it is very difficult for it to pass without having it. But everyone just leaves. And I am standing there...wondering what happened. I guess they are too old for wienies at 1am. So I had no wienie joint excursion...and quietly and sadly went to bed.

Saturday night we had a gathering at our house. It was in honor of Steve and Vynessa traveling up from Baltimore for Easter. We tend to host a lot of gatherings at our house. I like that. It's nice being home...and I really like the whole entertaining thing. I just need a bigger place to have these gatherings. Anyway, I was excited for the blog material that would come from this party. But there really wasn't any. I'm a little disappointed. But I'll tell you about the party anyway.

First, I have decided that getting dressed in regular cute clothes is over rated in the third trimester. Since my tummy is getting a lot bigger, a lot of the shirts I have are getting to be too short and my jeans are actually shrinking also ( I think my belly is using more of the material...) So I staying in my pajamas for this party :) It was a wonderful idea. I was so comfy. I looked like a bum, but whatever.

Anyway, the other day we bought Super Smash Brothers for Wii. We had our friend bring two more controllers during the party and had an all out brawl during the party. It was almost too much fun. I had played with Dennis one time before the party, and kinda got the hang of it...mostly you just push buttons and hope your guy kills one of the other guys. The game has a neat feature that you can put the names of everyone that is playing in the game and they will randomly pick 4 people to play. We set it up so the top two players got to stay in and the other 2 rotated. Turns out I got the hang of the game better than I thought. I was kicking everyone's ass. Including Dennis' who plays often. It was fun for me...but after about 17 wins in a row they all decided to gang up on me. And I died. Sort of. There was a tie for second and the computer picked to throw me out instead of whoever I tied. Boo. I highly recommend the purchase of this game.

So there really wasn't much else to say about the party. No one did anything stupid....which I guess is good, but doesn't provide me with much to write about. Steve promised to bring out his alter ego - Drunk Steve - but he never got there. He was too busy being No Fun Steve and trying to keep Vynessa from drinking too much. Lame.

Maybe I will have more interesting things to write about tomorrow. I have another ultra sound today. Exciting.

Some Clarification...

After a conversation with my father in law the other day, there are a few things I would like to clarify regarding some previous posts :)

1. I believe in a God. Just not the version that most organized religions believe in. I don't like all the rules and stories...they seem too fake to me. I appreciate why people believe in them, and do not mean to offend anyone in anyway. It's just not for me :)

2. I was not talking about my mom in the last post. I love my mom, even if we fight sometimes.

3. I really didn't drink alot before I was pregnant. It just seems that most funny stories to write about happen to have alcohol present at the time. I don't think you guys really want to read about what I do all day. You want to hear stories..not things like, I watched Regis and Kelly, then that extra hour of Today and then I ate pudding. Etc. :)


So I am really getting into nesting mode. I NEED to have everything ready for Dominic. It is killing me. It stresses me out so much that I have nothing for him. Dennis made me promise I wouldn't buy anything until after the baby shower. Which makes perfect sense...to a normal, rational person. But to me, it's nuts! The baby shower is in a month! A MONTH! That means I have to wait another 30 days before I can even think about getting his room ready. AHHHH! Anyone who has been pregnant before understands the immense difficulty in this. I know that most of you who read this haven't...so I will try to explain.

Basically, at some point every pregnant woman gets into this stage of nesting. Everything has to be perfectly ready for the baby. Even things that don't make sense. For example: The shelves that we keep the DVDs on in the living room is on the wall. Dominic probably won't be able to reach the bottom shelf until he is like 3. And we won't live here then. BUT, one day I couldn't take it and made Dennis take all the DVDS and put them in a box in the basement. Just in case. Of what you ask? I have no idea. I can't explain it. It just wasn't right.

So now, all day I sit home and look around at everything that is wrong with where we live. And know that there really is nothing I can do about it, because I have this feeling that no matter how much I prepare, I will never feel like it is right.

It feels good...Yeah

So the other day I wrote about how I really wanted to vent but I was iffy about hurting peoples feelings. Mostly, because I didn't want to deal with it...not because I really cared all that much what this person thought. Weeeeeeeeeell....some things have happened and I have let her know pretty much exactly what I think of her. I left out a few things...mostly because they don't have to do with me, so I'll let her find out from someone else. But I have to say it felt so good to have to stop faking the liking for someone. I know it seems very high school to fake like someone - but I needed to use her to get her husband to sign some paperwork for me. Turns out, she was the one that was causing it to not get signed. She apparently cut his balls off and he can't make decisions unless she approves. Or at least that's what she believes... anyway, she will probably read this and leave some nasty comment but thats ok, you can all see how ridiculously crazy she is. And you'll get a good laugh. I should post her emails, the exchange between us is entertaining. hmm an idea.

Anyway, we went to Twin River on Saturday night with our friends Beccy (crazy name speller) and Seth. For those of you that don't know, Twin River is the former Lincoln Park. They have redone it and made it giant...miles of slot machines, comedy club, event center, a bunch of restaurants, etc. Well, we went because Seth wanted to see a comedian at the comedy club. Turns out the main comedian was pretty funny. I didn't know who he was, so I didn't know what to expect. There were 3 other comedians that performed before him..1 was great...and the other 2 were stereotypical male and female comedians. They used the same jokes making fun of their wife/husband that people have for years. Nothing original.

So after the show, I was excited to hang around and play slots. Dennis and I went to Twin River to see Big Bad VooDoo Daddy (blast from the past right?) over the summer. It was great. We sat at the bar and got completely wasted off these giant martini's. Then we played the slots and won like $150. Fun. So needless to say I was excited to go back. Well, Saturday we went back. And once that comedy show was over...I was all set with Twin River.

Twin River was full of 4 types of people, old people who just sat at one slot machine, extremely drunk people who had no concept of others personal space, rednecky people who have like 3 teeth and then a few "normal" people thrown in the mix. There is no where in this group that a woman who is 6 months pregnant fits in. First, no one would get out of my way. I would say excuse me and they would move like 4 inches to the right. My stomach is like a foot straight out. It's probably not that big, but the point is that I still couldn't fit. And when I would say excuse me again they still wouldn't move! So I tried to squeeze through..and they would get hit with my belly and give me a dirty look. My patience level is like zero at this point (not this point in the story, more like this point in my life.. I have no patience for anything). So now Dennis wants a drink. Fine. We go back to the bar that we had so much fun at in the summer..and I realize it is a smoking area..so we need to go somewhere else. Of course I blame Dennis for this. I know it is not his fault. I am fully aware that he does not make the smoking rules in the place, but he wanted a drink. So it's his fault. So now I'm mad at him (for no reason). He gets his drink at another bar that we had to wait for like HOURS for. And I can finally sit my ass down at a slot machine. Turns out slots kind of suck when you aren't drunk. I lost. And was already cranky...so we know this didn't turn out well. We decide to go to a different area, and the four of us are walking..and then Seth (who is last in the line) sees something shiny and disappears. We can't find him. So we stop and wait. Beccy calls him..and he saw a cool machine..and won like $65. Ass. He reappears...and we go for ice cream. Ice cream makes everything better. Except at Twin River. It just makes things worse. Once we finally found the ice cream place, I order my 2 scoops in a cup of mango sorbet and the charge me $5. $5! I just lost a bunch of money on the damn slots and I am not drunk. Who can afford a $5 ice cream? At this point I tell Dennis I need to leave. i can't do it anymore. The next time someone walks (stumbles) into me and I almost fall over (I have no balance) I will punch them. And I really will. No joke. I am a violent pregnant lady. So we leave. Dennis was nice enough to valet the car so I didn't have to walk 3 miles to the car after. I was very proud of him. He doesn't like to spend money on things like Valet, so this was a big deal. We get to the Valet stand at 1015. And we wait. And wait. And wait. There are no seats. And we keep waiting. Dennis says I should sit on the floor, but I would never have been able to get up. I have all I can do getting out of a chair, never mind all the way to the floor. When I am laying on the bathroom each morning I have to use the tub, counter and Dennis to help me get up. I'm thinking sitting on the floor in the middle of Twin River was a bad idea. So here we are 45 MNINUTES LATER, still standing with no car. Then by the grace of something who didn't want me to nicely discuss the location of my car with the valet, it appeared. At 11 pm. 45 minutes after I NEEDED to be away from this place. I almost cried.

I guess last time I was in the drunk category and didn't care about anyone else. :)

So I haven't written all week. I have kind of been busy doing nothing if that makes any sense. I had a few doctor appointments and lunch dates. I don't usually hang around on the computer once Dennis gets home. So I was thinking and realized I hadn't written since Monday. A few of you have emailed me regarding this and my apologies. I didn't realize I already had loyal readers :)

So one of the things I hate about blogging is that sometimes you can't write what is really on your mind. There are various reasons, but for me the main one is that sometimes I want to use it as a place to vent - that way I am not bogging Dennis down with all my venting. But sometimes I need to vent about people that I like or people that I don't really like at all, but know they are reading the blog. Can you tell I have a few things on my mind that I want to get out? :) Anyway, I need to find a way to still have good blog material without hurting anyones feelings. I'm not sure that is always going to work. So rather than create more drama in my life than necessary, I just decide not to write.

I found out some interesting information at the doctor this week. Originally they were pretty sure that I would not be able to have any pain medication during labor because of the medication I am taking. For whatever reason, they have not great interactions with each other. I was not very excited about this. I found this out at like week 10. My doctor, whom I really do love, was like look on the bright side, at least you have the entire pregnancy to prepare. I was more like, at least I have the whole pregnancy to think about how much it is going to hurt. So Dennis and I started doing our research, what other options did we have? Lots of crazy women have drug free labors so I knew there were a lot of options out there, I just didn't know them. So we hear about the Bradley Method. Without going into too much detail, it seemed like a good option for us. We went to an introductory class one night at babies r us....and let me tell you...IT IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF US! So the lady running the class was the same one you would have for the 12 week preparation. She was nuts. Like totally and completely nuts. She started out talking about God...and anyone that knows me and Dennis that just doesn't work for us. Then she moves on to discussing why good parents have home births, totally implying that if you have a hospital birth you are not going to be a good parent because you are thinking more of yourself than your child. Another point for her on our board. She continues that she understands sometimes home birth is not an option (turns out it is illegal in RI anyway, not that I would ever do that...even if I had the option physically, I just found this out when telling a friend who is a Doula this story) so you need to make sure you have little to no medical intervention at the hospital. Right lady, even for a normal pregnancy you can't get away with no medical intervention at a hospital. It is a god damn hospital. So the crazy lady continues that if you do have to give birth at a hospital (god forbid...) you should not let them hook you up to fetal monitors (because let's be serious, how useful is it to monitor the baby's heartbeat...), and to especially not let them set you up for an IV. At this point I raise my hand and see Dennis looking at me with this please please please don't cause trouble look. Even though the lady was crazy, she was very nice - I asked what her recommendation is for people who have a severely high risk pregnancy and do not have the option of declining medical intervention. She says that there is always a way around medical intervention. I laughed. I actually laughed out loud and then just let her continue with her crazy lecture. So after the class she comes up to us and asks about my question. I chose not to give her the details of my pregnancy because I was losing patience with her craziness and was pretty sure if she said something stupid I would yell at her. So Dennis and I leave this lecture kind of busted. I was worried that every alternative method class we went to would be like this. So I did what any sane person who is concerned about her labor would do - I pushed it to the back of my mind and decided to deal with it when labor came. Because that's a good idea.

So anyway, I completely ignore the fact that I have to do this and continue with my life. I go to the doctor 2 weeks ago and get AMAZING news. A different version of the blood thinner I take is approved for use with anesthetics. Yay!! So, we decided at 36 weeks I would switch to that blood thinner and then I can have an induction and get pain killers. Not just any pain killers, but also an epidural. The mother of them all. I was so excited. There was really nothing that was going to kill this for me. I was having an epidural and I wasn't going to kill my husband during delivery. Then I watch NBC nightly news.

The new fucking blood thinner was recalled. That's right, recalled. Not available for use in the US any more as of that afternoon. WHAT THE FUCK!? As if I do not have enough issues with this god damn pregnancy can't someone just let me have a damn pain killer during labor. I don't really think that is too much to ask. Turns out, blood thinner injections are made from water and mucus from pig intestines. Disgusting. That means for 2 years I have been injecting myself with mucus from pig intestines and I never even knew it. But what I find to be even more disturbing is that someone actually decided to try to inject this and see if it worked...and it did! Fascinating. Anyway, this pharmaceutical company that made the other version of my blood thinner was cutting costs and bought mucus from a pig farm in China that wasn't regulated for human consumption. They just bought the goop and made life saving drugs from it without any worry if it was infected with disease or anything. Because it saved them money. Turns out, it was infected with ickies and killed a bunch of people. Awesome.

I was dead silent while watching this story. Dennis just sat there - he had no idea what my reaction would be. I am so unpredictable right now I could have gone in any direction. To his great surprise (and mine) I just started laughing. I didn't know what else to do. I feel like some things are so stupid in my life, that people think I am exaggerating...and this would be one of those things for me. What are the chances that they would find a way for me to take thinners and not worry about a blood clot AND have pain killers at the same time - and then the damn drug gets recalled the same day they tell me. You can't write a book like that because no one would believe it. So I was back to square one - push the labor prep to the back of my mind and deal with it when the time comes.

So here we are, a few weeks later. I am at the doctor's office and she brings up what my plan is for labor. I was like oh right, well that is far away so we haven't really talked about it in too much detail. My lovely doctor smiles and says, Becky, it is only 3 months away. That time is going to go by the fastest of the entire pregnancy. You need to have a plan. So I cried. i just burst into tears and told her I didn't want to. I'm surprised that I didn't throw myself on the floor and start punching and kick the floor having a full blown temper tantrum. But like I said, I love my doc and she just rubbed my back and told me what she would be most comfortable with based upon all my nutty medical issues.

They are going to induce me during week 37. For those of you that know the importance of the number 37 in Dennis' life can get a good laugh out of that. She also said that the pharmaceutical company that produces the thinner I am currently using released the other pain killer friendly version this week. And she is pretty confident that it won't get recalled and I can have pain killers!

Moral of this story: If I ignore something that really scares me then it will work itself out :)

Twinkies.

So all pregnancy I have been doing a really good job of keeping my weight in check. I have actually only gained 5 pounds the entire pregnancy. Which is great. Mostly it is because I often vomit up my food before it has the opportunity to make me fatter, but there are often lunch times and snack times that I get to keep down. Well, I think it is all going to shit.

Friday I had the most unbelievable craving for a twinkie. My sister was nice enough to go to the store after work and bring me twinkieS. So since Friday, I have had a whole box of twinkies in my house. I can't control myself. I had 3 of them in a 10 minutes period on Friday. It was disgusting. Of course, I didn't throw those up. Even writing about them right now is making me go crazy. I am addicted to these twinkies. I know that gaining weight is normal during pregnancy, but for various reasons the doctors wanted me to keep it as low as possible because it adds more complications to the already annoying complications that I have. AND, I learned my lesson from Nicole - she ate too many kit kats and then had gestational diabetes and had to eat an icky diet for the last 3 months. She couldn't even have cake at her baby shower! Which to some of you may not be a big deal, but to an impulsive pregnant woman that is EVERYTHING. So now I am scared that I will have to go on this diet. I have the test on Tuesday. Not a good time to be addicted to twinkies.

Saturday I went to a baby shower. It was my first one since I created my registry. It was exciting and totally overwhelming at the same time. For those of you that care, I am not opening presents at my shower. It takes too long and I get too worried I won't have the reaction that you want me to have to your present. It gets overwhelming sitting in front of everyone and saying oh how cute 90 times. And, Dennis really wants to help and my mom is old fashioned and wouldn't let me have a shower with girls and boys. So, if you love to see all the baby stuff, you can come over my house because it will all be there.

Anyway, this was a boring blog today. Sorry. No good crazy poop stories.

A Whole New Level of Crazy

So I have been out of work for a month now. It is official and it is WONDERFUL. That's right, I said it is WONDERFUL. A few of you are saying, no kidding idiot. It must be wonderful. But others are laughing. I am laughing. And why could we be laughing? Oh right, because I cried like a baby and threw 82 temper tantrums about having to leave. This may not be entertaining to those of you who didn't experience the tantrums, but this is highly entertaining to me. And probably Dennis. And Tiffany and Jeremy and Chris...the list continues. But seriously, these last 3 weeks have been incredibly relaxing. The first week, not so much. I was a DISASTER. I was convinced my children would be ruined because I wasn't there. I know, it's really funny now. Apparently I thought I was REALLY important. Haha.

Anyway...I am crazy. Last night I SWORE I was in preterm labor. (I hate the internet for confirming my feelings.) I wasn't. Obviously. I probably would have led the post with something like THANK THE LORD I DON'T REALLY BELIEVE IN BECAUSE I AM NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE! WOO HOO. Really that would have been the only good thing...there are so many bad things if I had been in preterm labor. I know all these bad things. I know it is very very bad for Dom to be born right now. I just find all those things to be depressing...so I'm not talking about those. We are going to ignore them and discuss the not depressing things.

So to continue...I thought I was in preterm labor and the internet confirmed that in fact I was. Who needs doctors when you have the internet? The website even had a list of things that Dennis should get for an emergency home birth. Apparently all you need to deliver a child are sheets and towels. Interesting, since it costs like $40,000 in the hospital. Mostly it had instructions for the mom. The first thing you should do is breath. Huh. Never would have thought of that. Next...get ready...TAKE OF YOUR PANTS AND UNDERWEAR. Is that seriously in the list of things to do? Apparently you forget some pretty obvious things when you are in emergency home birth labor. There were other more practical/helpful instructions, like after the baby is born how to get him to breath on his own and all that kind of important stuff. But anyway, the point of my internet search was to check my symptoms. This article about emergency home birth happened to be linked into the preterm labor article so I read it. I didn't actually think I was going to have a home birth. Back to the point...

So here are the symptoms I had: intense lower back pain, contractions in my uterus (they described them as a knife stabbing near your cervix...so I was like, hmm I have never had a knife stab my cervix or really anything, but I imagined it would be feeling like how I felt), dizziness, sweats, and fluid release (use your imagination people...this isn't rated R). Since I met 5 of the 6 on the list...I was officially in preterm labor. I didn't have any bleeding. Which was really good because we just got a new sectional for our living room. I was sitting on it. Blood would have been bad. Anyway, at this point I decide to tell Dennis I am in preterm labor. He just stared at me. I was like, don't freak out, I'm not freaking out, I'm just telling you. He kept staring at me. Then asked if I wanted to call the doctor. I of course said no. I was pretty sure the doctor's would have had a good laugh at my expense had I called at that point. I don't need that. So our decision: I was going to go to bed and try to sleep and promise to wake Dennis up if it got worse.

It got worse. I didn't wake Dennis up. He had to work today. That would have been inconsiderate. So I weighed the idea of calling the doctor at 2 in the morning. I still imagined them making fun of me at the hospital. I see them too much to know that they are making fun of me behind my back. I pride myself on leaving my crazy at the door of the doctors office. They just don't know this side of me...and I would like to keep it that way. So I went back to sleep again.

Dennis gets up for work at 545. I get up with him and we have breakfast together and talk and all that good bonding stuff. When he goes to take a shower, I go back to bed. So we have our normal morning. I keep quiet about my discomfort because I know Dennis will make me call the doctor and I am just not going to. No point in getting in a fight about it. So I got back to bed..and at this point I am thinking about how labor really isn't so bad. I'm sure once the time comes for the kid to squeeze out it's pretty bad. But this first stage of labor was bearable. Not easy, but bearable. (I promise I am almost done with this story.)

I wake up again at 10. My abdomen is in such intense pain I can barely move. But I HAD to pee. I couldn't hold it. So I go to the bathroom. While I am sitting there, I have this intense urge to push. I am FREAKING out. But I couldn't control it. So I pushed.


And I took the biggest poop I have ever taken in my life. And was no longer in preterm labor.

I feel I am at a whole new level of crazy today. I can't even bring myself to tell Dennis. He'll read this eventually. Then make fun of me for the rest of my life. Which I obviously deserve. But in my defense, the internet said I was in preterm labor. It's not really my fault for thinking that. They should add a disclaimer that these symptoms also lead to giant poops.

What I would give for a margarita...

We dropped Tim, Kat and Logan off at the airport in Boston last night. Poop. I was really not looking forward to it for a few reasons:

1. Tim, Kat and Logan were leaving.
2. We were driving to Boston at 6 pm. Traffic. Yuck.
3. Dominic has been unhappy with my dinner choices the past few nights and has decided to kick my stomach as hard as possible until it is empty...sucks enough when I am spending the time in the morning on the bathroom floor, but the night time in a parking lot (usually where it happens...) just doesn't work for me. Now I was going to be fighting this while on my way to Boston. Interesting.
4. I was going to miss American Idol for the second night in a row.

So, they left. I do have to say, because I love them and know they will understand, that there is some relief in not having a toddler in my house anymore. Although Logan is really a wonderful child, my house is not child proof. I thought we were in good shape. Dennis and I walked around and tried to imagine what we would do if we were Logan, and apparently we sucked at that. He was able to find everything that was wrong with having a child in my house. Although that was stressful, it was also helpful to see how much I am going to suck at being a toddler mom. Something I can work on over the next year and a half.

Traffic. Oh how we were dreading traffic. AMAZINGLY there was no traffic. How that is possible, I will never understand. It made my day. It even made up for reason number 3 for dreading the Boston trip.

Dominic better be a soccer star. Or Olympic track and field athlete. This child is crazy. Sometimes he is satisfied with my food choice and allows me the pleasure of digestion and other times feels it would be in my best interest (at least that is what I tell myself...) to kick my stomach as hard as he can until it is empty. He does this every morning. No exaggeration, but I eat every morning...why you ask? Well, have you ever thrown up nothing? That is THE MOST PAINFUL experience of my pregnancy to this point. It takes me a while to recover from that. I would rather have something in my stomach to expel. Anyway, Dom shows no AM mercy...but usually allows me some nourishment at lunch. Then we have dinner. He is so unpredictable with dinner. I can go weeks without a dinner issue...and then he will do it everyday for a week. I just never know. It doesn't matter what I eat either. I was drinking ginger ale and eating saltines for dinner one night, because I had thrown up for like 5 nights in a row...and I still got sick. So I figure if I am going to get sick on the food that every doctor tells you to eat so you don't get sick, I might as well eat something that tastes good. We are currently in a week of Dom frustration. We had to stop half way to the airport last night so I could throw up in a gas station parking lot, and in a Newport Creamery parking lot the night before and the same gas station on the way to the airport when we picked them up. Classy. People probably think I am an alcoholic. I wish it was alcohol causing this. What I would give for a margarita...

Finally, I was going to miss my second night of American Idol. Since Tim and Kat hate American Idol, and although I am currently slacking with my compromising ability, I sacrificed on Tuesday and played Rock Band instead. For those of you that have never been pregnant, (or maybe it is just me, I don't know...I am blaming it on pregnancy) everything is just so much more dramatic. It really can be the end of the world if you are not able to watch a TV show that you want to watch or sit at the table you want to sit at in a restaurant or if your husband drives to the crappy CVS instead of the good CVS. Yesterday was one of those days for me. I NEEDED to watch AI (American Idol). Well guess what? I got to! Yay! There was no traffic, so we were home right at 8. It was amazing. AI was less than thrilling...I just don't like the girls this year. Except for for Carly. But we can save that for another blog.

So there you go a small glimpse into my head...pray for Dennis.

By Popular Demand...maybe

So my attempt at a blog is finally here. At the request of so many people who apparently think I am funny (seriously...and I don't really know why...because I am even less funny when I write) I have caved and decided to share my RIDICULOUSLY exciting life as a stay at home PREGNANT LADY. Not even a stay at home mom. I don't have cute baby pictures to show...or cute stories of park excursions. All I have is my lovable personality and AMAZING, WONDERFUL pregnancy experience.

Now, those of you who have been around for the past 6 months realize the immense sarcasm of that last statement and probably choked while thinking about my lovable personality. Fortunately (I think...) people find my pain amusing... and tend to just laugh..with me, at me...probably both, but more likely at me.

For those of you that haven't had the PURE JOY of my presence lately, let me give an extremely quick recap:

I am 6 months pregnant with a baby boy. His name is Dominic, often referred to as Dom. Some days we are friends, others not so much...but I have faith that he will be pretty cool once he is here. I was taken out of work at 5 months and now stay home...all day... I have a high risk pregnancy due to a blood clotting disorder. I inject myself with blood thinners twice a day and have for the past two years and it seems like I will forever. I vomit everyday (hence why SOMETIMES Dom and I are friends and other times, not so much). As if that isn't enough, I have what is referred to as prenatal anxiety disorder/depression. Awesome. (You can't take pills for it. You have to actually WORK THROUGH IT. Seriously?! Work through it?! Since when do we work through anything in this country...isn't there a pill for everything?)

All this does not lead to the end of the world. I get that. I get that there are people who have it worse blah blah blah. I am not writing any of this to get your sympathy. I really really really don't need it or want it. I am writing this for two reasons: First, because I am a stay at home pregnant lady with nothing to do until regular people get out of work...and second because there seem to be a few people who find my life more entertaining than theirs.

Right, so that is it for now. Try to control yourself until next time.