Did you miss me? I bet you did.

I'm back! Yay. It has been 3 months since the last time I wrote. I'm sure my "regulars" aren't regulars anymore - but I will just announce my return on facebook and all will likely be better.

So a lot has happened in 3 months. I've been kind of busy with a baby. And then work started. And I started grad school. So free time is at a premium. Other than that though...

Dominic is getting so big! He is going to be 4 months on Friday. It's crazy how fast it has gone by, but at the same time I really can't remember what life was like without him. I think the most frustrating thing about being a parent is listening to older adults in your life (parents, aunts, uncles, etc.) tell you things as if you are an idiot. It is especially frustrating when they think it's not them. Everyone does it. When I point it out too, they are always like I can't help it, it just happens, you'll understand when Dominic has a child. No apologies, no comment about how they know we are competent...just excuses. I am also pretty sure that happens to everyone that has a child so I can imagine you are feeling my pain right now.

The 3 month mark for Dom was where the fun really began. He is standing up now -he holds onto our fingers with his hands. It's wicked cute. Last night he stood up on his own - like used his own legs to push himself up. Usually we pick him up to standing position and he will stand. That was pretty exciting. I haven't actually caught him rolling over, but there are nights we put him in his crib facing one way and go in there later and he is facing the complete opposite direction. He has also found his voice over the last month. He "talks" like a maniac (must get it from his dad...). It is ridiculously cute. He really tries to have conversations with us. I am really enjoying parenthood right now.

Anyway, I will make an effort to write again. I promise. Maybe even this weekend!! if you want to see cute pictures of Dom go here: http://albums.phanfare.com/delbarone

Soccer...and the 4th

So I am completely crazy. I had a baby 4 weeks ago tomorrow. Dominic will be a month old on Thursday...time has flown. Anyway, I am completely crazy because I signed up to play soccer. It starts in 2 weeks. Ha. I can walk a mile right now and not collapse and die. I'm not sure what happens if I push too much past that. This is a good idea. Whatever, I need to get rid of this giant amount of baby fat and I hate the gym. Despite what people seem to tink, I actually like to do active things, but not at the gym. I need a purpose, like say scoring a goal, or trying to get the ball from someone that is trying to score a goal. We'll see how it goes. I am playing with Dennis, which is either going to be great or not. Probably nothing in between. I'm going to have to get better at listening to his constructive critiscms. He is excited, and has already scheduled a time for my mom to watch the baby so we can go kick the ball around and "run up and down the field passing the ball". Sounds great :) (I appreciate his enthusiasm...I really do, but running up and down a field when it is 90 out for no reason is really not all that exciting to me.) I am going to play one night a week and Dennis is going to play 2 nights a week. I am going to play on the team that has them most girls, because I need a sub. The league has rules that you have to have 3 girls playing at all times - and last season they only had 3 girls on the team and one isnt coming back. So, I am only going to play if they have more 3 girls since I really will die if I have to play an entire game. This should be interesting.

So Dennis set himself on fire on the 4th of July. Stone cold sober too. He is ok. He ended up with minor facial burns. We were at a cook out at our friend Beccy's (yes she spells it wierd) house. She has a charcoal grill and there were a few too many matchlight charcoals in it, so the flame was really high. Well, long story short, he went to open the grill after moving it away from the house, but didn't realize the front vent was closed and this giant flame came up in his face. He burnt his cheeks, nose and lips, and his eyebrows and beard caught on fire. Fortunately, he had pot holder in his hand and was able to snuff the beard fire out. All in all, it could have been much worse, but it still freaked us both out.

Stupid Hair

So a few weeks before Dominic was born, I decided I wanted my hair to be short. Specifically, like Jenny McCarthy. I saw her on some talk show preaching about not vaccinating your children because they will have autism, so it's better to risk them getting diseases that will definitely kill them, rather than have the remote possiblity they will get autism and have some barriers to overcome in life. Right. So anyway, back to my hair. Well sometime in the next few weeks following that, I was watching a makeover show and the lady said she wanted extensions because she hated her short hair. She said she cut it after her kiddo was born like every new mom does and regrets it every day. I laughed and said I won't be that woman. I will like my hair being short because Jenny McCarthy looks so cute. Well, big surprise...I hate my hair. I hate it with a passion. It is so unflattering I don't even like to go out. It's horrible. It really is. Now I have to wait forever for it to grow. To torture myself even more, I just looked at wedding pictures with Dennis - when I was much skinnier than my post baby body and when I had longer hair. That was a self esteem boost. Now I want lypo and hair extensions.

In other news, I want another baby. Shocking, I know. Especially after the post a few weeks ago where I was pissed at everyone for saying I would want another one. But I do. He is just so cute and fun that I can't imagine never making another one. We haven't sprung this news on my mom yet. She'll be pissed because of my health issues. She'll get over it. Who knows though, maybe I'll get over this want too - we'll see.

Dominic si doing great though. It's amazing how quickly babies change. They have such rapid development in the beginning of their lives. I love it. He is awake a lot more each day and reacting to things we do. He really enjoys his tummy time each day to practice lifting his little head. It's cute to what him try so hard to lift it up, only to get tired after a few seconds of looking around. Sometimes he even gets really frustrated and yells which is very distinct from crying.

I posted some pictures on a website. http://albums.phanfare.com/delbarone
They aren't spectacular, but they are better than nothing.

Babies don't smile my ass.

Dennis was being silly with him and he smiled. Don't try to tell me it is just gas, because it isn't. That is everyone's answer to everything, but he actually smiled. It was very exciting.

11 days later...

So it as been 11 days since Dominic made his appearance. Dennis and I can already see such a difference in him in such a short time. I think he is finally putting on some weight. We'll see if I'm right when we go to the doctor on Monday. So I know most of you that are reading this want me to write about how cute he is and all the different things he is doing and post lots of pictures. With time, I will do that, but today I feel like writing about me. (Big surprise...)

So I am not dumb. I was aware from the beginning of this journey that my body would never be the same. I knew that when I was leaving the hospital I wouldn't be back to how I was pre-pregnancy (which itself wasn't all that great) immediately. I am actually sorta surprised at how much has fallen off so quickly without really doing much other than watching what I eat. I am aware that some women never even lose the weight that they gained during pregnancy. This is what I think is crap. You endure 9 VERY LONG MONTHS of nastiness to your body. Then for the icing on the cake, you push a child out of an area that really isn't big enough for a child (hence the need for episiotomies). Then even after all that, you need to now take care of him. Although all they do at first is eat, sleep and poop it is a very tiring job trying to recover from child birth and care for a newborn. Really, that is all ok though. The kicker for me is that I did all this stuff - pregnancy, no work, boredom, childbirth, feedings, diaper changes, lack of sleep - and I can't even make myself feel cute to make up for it. (Obviously the child itself is a reward. I feel like that is implied, hence why I love him DESPITE all this. ) When we finally had an opportunity to go out, what happens? I spend 20 minutes crying because I have nothing to wear. And I really don't. It's not the usual closet full of clothes and you just don't like anything crying. I literally have no clothes that fit me, except sweatpants and tshirts. Sexy. Maternity clothes are already too big (which is a good thing) but regular clothes are not even close to fitting. Awesome.

So that is where I am right now. I think it is only fair, that after a pregnancy a women's body immediately be fixed. Not even to pre-pregnancy, to WHEREVER SHE WANTS IT TO BE. So, if I want my body to be the size it was when I graduated from high school, then that is what I should get. Without any work. Just as a reward for sacrificing my body for so long. I really think that is the cure to post partum depression.

5 days later...Happy Father's Day too.

(the post below this may say it was posted today (thank heaven for epidurals) but I actually wrote that a few days ago, and forgot to hit publish and just logged off. Oops)

I feel like I got hit by a bus. A really big bus that didn't even put its brakes on. From the front and the back. Parts of my body are sore that I didn't even realize could be sore. It really is great fun to recover from birth AND have a newborn to take care of. Good thing he is cute.

Now I need to vent a tiny little bit...

1. People are already asking us when we are having another child, which I expect. However, when we say we aren't, everyone says we will change our minds. We say that we won't and really don't get into it. Then when they push a little more, and make it seem like we are young and dumb, we tell them why. So here is why: The doctor's never wanted me to be pregnant in the first place. It was way too risky based upon my previous medical conditions. I was really very lucky to come out of this the way I did, as was Dominic. Dennis and I thought long and hard about the risks and benefits for ONE child...we decided before we were even pregnant with Dominic that the risks were way to high for me, and one successful pregnancy was more than we could ever ask for. The doctor's have advised that also. Especially with all the scares about Dominic at the end of the pregnancy. So the point, we are not having another child. If we decide the Dominic needs a brother or sister, we will adopt. So instead of pushing us that we only feel this way because we are tired, think about the fact that we already put my life on the line to have Dominic, and feel it was completely worth the risk, and be grateful that everything is as wonderful as it is and everyone is here to enjoy it.

2. Times have changed. Dad's stay in the room the whole birth, feed babies, change diapers, do laundry, etc. I'm not a bitch or lazy or bad wife, I am realistic. I gave birth 5 days ago, have battle scars that you don't want to know about and have every right to sit my ass down on the couch and have Dennis change a diaper or 2. We actually take turns! It really is a fascinating concept. Just because that isn't what happened in your relationship, whether you are 100 or 26, doesn't mean it isn't normal in others.

3. No he isn't going to fall. Yes I am being careful. His neck is supported just fine. It is ok to hold him this much. Yes, he is allowed to leave the house right away. He looks like both of us.
Just a few of the statements I say 300 times a day.

Ok, enough venting.

So today is Dennis' first father's day! I was changing Dominic's diaper this morning and had the news on. Dennis is in bed sleeping very peacefully. The lady on the news starts talking about the Newport Folk Festival, and how it isn't really a folk festival because most of the bands playing aren't folky. Then she says fronted by rock bands PHISH, The Black Crowes and Jimmy Buffet....blah blah blah. OMFG. I like jumped on Dennis and said Phish is playing at the folk festival and he freaked out and jumped out of bed and was like omg buy tickets and literally ran around the room. He had received a few email articles of the last weeks that phish was talking about a reunion...so it all made sense to us since Trey was signed up to play at the festival already. Turns out she read the copy wrong because she is a bitch. It is still just Trey scheduled to perform, not phish. What a way to break a guys heart on his first fathers day.

Thank heaven for epidurals...oh and little boys too.

It's official! I am a mommy. Dominic Charles DelBarone was born on June 10, 2008 at 6:07pm weighing in at 6lbs 7oz and is 19 inches long. I currently have no pictures to post. Not for lack of taking them, but because Dennis can't find the cord to hook the camera to the computer. So we can't take any of our pictures off yet. If he doesn't find it this morning, I am sending him to purchase a new one.



So let's talk labor. If you refer back to some previous posts, you will recall how I was in denial about labor. I never really came up with a "plan". My plan - get an epidural, have a baby, hold him. That is almost exactly what happened too!



So Tuesday morning, as I was writing my blog entry, Women and Infants called and said they were ready for me. So I finish the entry and Dennis and I head over. At this point, I am a bit nervous, but about trivial things - will the epidural hurt? I didn't shave for 2 days, will the nurses and doctors be grossed out? What if I poop during labor? - not serious things like, will everything be ok with Dominic. At that point, I had pretty much convinced myself that the doctors were being overly cautious and that Dominic was actually bigger and more normal than they predicted (I was right...as usual ). Anywho, we got to the hospital without incident...



So they take us to our room for Labor and Delivery. It was very weird walking into it, all I could think about was how that was the place that I would finally get to hold Dominic and see his little cheeks and kiss them. They have the little baby warmer thing all set up and ready for him from the moment you walk in. I stared at it from the bed for probably the first 2 hours, picturing what it would be like to see him in it. After about 45 minutes of paperwork talk and discussing with the doc and nurse what our plan was vs what their plan was (it was the same...healthy baby, healthy mom, how we got there didn't matter to me), we started the induction medicine.



So I was already 5 cm when they started the medicine. My doc thought that would mean this would go fast. It didn't. It took me almost all day to go from 5cm to 7cm. We were a little frustrated. More because we were so excited to meet Dominic, and the longer you take to dilate on the medicine, the more likely they are to give you a c-section, which honestly, I didn't want to recover from. I was definitely not in any pain. Fortunately, going from 7 to 10 took about an hour and we were all ready!! Yay!

I'll spare you the graphic details of what happened next. But let me tell you, I will never think of a vagina the same way again. Or a uterus. That is quite the organ.

It was the best feeling in the world when they held Dominic up and I heard him cry. It's one of the only times that hearing someone cry makes you happy. Unless you are a jerk. Anyway, I can honestly say that all this crap for the last 9 months was worth it. Every second. I still hated being pregnant. And do not ever want to do it again. But I am glad I did it once.