(the post below this may say it was posted today (thank heaven for epidurals) but I actually wrote that a few days ago, and forgot to hit publish and just logged off. Oops)
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A really big bus that didn't even put its brakes on. From the front and the back. Parts of my body are sore that I didn't even realize could be sore. It really is great fun to recover from birth AND have a newborn to take care of. Good thing he is cute.
Now I need to vent a tiny little bit...
1. People are already asking us when we are having another child, which I expect. However, when we say we aren't, everyone says we will change our minds. We say that we won't and really don't get into it. Then when they push a little more, and make it seem like we are young and dumb, we tell them why. So here is why: The doctor's never wanted me to be pregnant in the first place. It was way too risky based upon my previous medical conditions. I was really very lucky to come out of this the way I did, as was Dominic. Dennis and I thought long and hard about the risks and benefits for ONE child...we decided before we were even pregnant with Dominic that the risks were way to high for me, and one successful pregnancy was more than we could ever ask for. The doctor's have advised that also. Especially with all the scares about Dominic at the end of the pregnancy. So the point, we are not having another child. If we decide the Dominic needs a brother or sister, we will adopt. So instead of pushing us that we only feel this way because we are tired, think about the fact that we already put my life on the line to have Dominic, and feel it was completely worth the risk, and be grateful that everything is as wonderful as it is and everyone is here to enjoy it.
2. Times have changed. Dad's stay in the room the whole birth, feed babies, change diapers, do laundry, etc. I'm not a bitch or lazy or bad wife, I am realistic. I gave birth 5 days ago, have battle scars that you don't want to know about and have every right to sit my ass down on the couch and have Dennis change a diaper or 2. We actually take turns! It really is a fascinating concept. Just because that isn't what happened in your relationship, whether you are 100 or 26, doesn't mean it isn't normal in others.
3. No he isn't going to fall. Yes I am being careful. His neck is supported just fine. It is ok to hold him this much. Yes, he is allowed to leave the house right away. He looks like both of us.
Just a few of the statements I say 300 times a day.
Ok, enough venting.
So today is Dennis' first father's day! I was changing Dominic's diaper this morning and had the news on. Dennis is in bed sleeping very peacefully. The lady on the news starts talking about the Newport Folk Festival, and how it isn't really a folk festival because most of the bands playing aren't folky. Then she says fronted by rock bands PHISH, The Black Crowes and Jimmy Buffet....blah blah blah. OMFG. I like jumped on Dennis and said Phish is playing at the folk festival and he freaked out and jumped out of bed and was like omg buy tickets and literally ran around the room. He had received a few email articles of the last weeks that phish was talking about a reunion...so it all made sense to us since Trey was signed up to play at the festival already. Turns out she read the copy wrong because she is a bitch. It is still just Trey scheduled to perform, not phish. What a way to break a guys heart on his first fathers day.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Thank heaven for epidurals...oh and little boys too.
It's official! I am a mommy. Dominic Charles DelBarone was born on June 10, 2008 at 6:07pm weighing in at 6lbs 7oz and is 19 inches long. I currently have no pictures to post. Not for lack of taking them, but because Dennis can't find the cord to hook the camera to the computer. So we can't take any of our pictures off yet. If he doesn't find it this morning, I am sending him to purchase a new one.
So let's talk labor. If you refer back to some previous posts, you will recall how I was in denial about labor. I never really came up with a "plan". My plan - get an epidural, have a baby, hold him. That is almost exactly what happened too!
So Tuesday morning, as I was writing my blog entry, Women and Infants called and said they were ready for me. So I finish the entry and Dennis and I head over. At this point, I am a bit nervous, but about trivial things - will the epidural hurt? I didn't shave for 2 days, will the nurses and doctors be grossed out? What if I poop during labor? - not serious things like, will everything be ok with Dominic. At that point, I had pretty much convinced myself that the doctors were being overly cautious and that Dominic was actually bigger and more normal than they predicted (I was right...as usual). Anywho, we got to the hospital without incident...
So they take us to our room for Labor and Delivery. It was very weird walking into it, all I could think about was how that was the place that I would finally get to hold Dominic and see his little cheeks and kiss them. They have the little baby warmer thing all set up and ready for him from the moment you walk in. I stared at it from the bed for probably the first 2 hours, picturing what it would be like to see him in it. After about 45 minutes of paperwork talk and discussing with the doc and nurse what our plan was vs what their plan was (it was the same...healthy baby, healthy mom, how we got there didn't matter to me), we started the induction medicine.
So I was already 5 cm when they started the medicine. My doc thought that would mean this would go fast. It didn't. It took me almost all day to go from 5cm to 7cm. We were a little frustrated. More because we were so excited to meet Dominic, and the longer you take to dilate on the medicine, the more likely they are to give you a c-section, which honestly, I didn't want to recover from. I was definitely not in any pain. Fortunately, going from 7 to 10 took about an hour and we were all ready!! Yay!
So let's talk labor. If you refer back to some previous posts, you will recall how I was in denial about labor. I never really came up with a "plan". My plan - get an epidural, have a baby, hold him. That is almost exactly what happened too!
So Tuesday morning, as I was writing my blog entry, Women and Infants called and said they were ready for me. So I finish the entry and Dennis and I head over. At this point, I am a bit nervous, but about trivial things - will the epidural hurt? I didn't shave for 2 days, will the nurses and doctors be grossed out? What if I poop during labor? - not serious things like, will everything be ok with Dominic. At that point, I had pretty much convinced myself that the doctors were being overly cautious and that Dominic was actually bigger and more normal than they predicted (I was right...as usual
So they take us to our room for Labor and Delivery. It was very weird walking into it, all I could think about was how that was the place that I would finally get to hold Dominic and see his little cheeks and kiss them. They have the little baby warmer thing all set up and ready for him from the moment you walk in. I stared at it from the bed for probably the first 2 hours, picturing what it would be like to see him in it. After about 45 minutes of paperwork talk and discussing with the doc and nurse what our plan was vs what their plan was (it was the same...healthy baby, healthy mom, how we got there didn't matter to me), we started the induction medicine.
So I was already 5 cm when they started the medicine. My doc thought that would mean this would go fast. It didn't. It took me almost all day to go from 5cm to 7cm. We were a little frustrated. More because we were so excited to meet Dominic, and the longer you take to dilate on the medicine, the more likely they are to give you a c-section, which honestly, I didn't want to recover from. I was definitely not in any pain. Fortunately, going from 7 to 10 took about an hour and we were all ready!! Yay!
I'll spare you the graphic details of what happened next. But let me tell you, I will never think of a vagina the same way again. Or a uterus. That is quite the organ.
It was the best feeling in the world when they held Dominic up and I heard him cry. It's one of the only times that hearing someone cry makes you happy. Unless you are a jerk. Anyway, I can honestly say that all this crap for the last 9 months was worth it. Every second. I still hated being pregnant. And do not ever want to do it again. But I am glad I did it once.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Holy Cow!
So this is my last blog entry as pregnant lady...which is surprisingly bittersweet. I am beyond excited to think about how I get to hold Dominic today. I get to FINALLY see what he looks like and kiss his little cheeks. But, it really is wierd to think that after today, I will likely never be pregnant again. All I ever did was complain about how horrible pregnancy is. And it really is horrible. Don't let people fool you when they say it is beautiful. They forget. As I am sure I will too. The baby is beautiful, even if they are ugly, the pregnancy sucks. But regardless, this has been my identity for 9 months, and today, that goes away. I swear it is so strange how for 25 years of my life I wasn't pregnant, but I honestly do not even remember what I am like not pregnant. I am almost a little nervous to find out. It will obviously be different than anything I ever was before, because now I will be a Mommy. A whole new identity. Just like that.
While I am sitting here thinking about this whole journey in my head, I am already forgetting all the sucky things. I guess it is just because this day is what you have been enduring all that for, and that is totally overwhelming.
You have hope when you get married that it will last forever. Why would you ever get married if you didn't think that was possible? But it isn't guarunteed. Becoming a parent is the only thing in life that lasts forever. Even in death, you are still someone's parent, and they are still your child. Although I have felt from the moment we found out we were having a baby that this was my child, there is really nothing like the feeling of today. Beginning today, I will no longer be simply Becky - I have some pretty important "titles" in my life right now - wife, teacher, friend, sister - but now I will add Mom, which is by far the most important one.
I know I usually try to keep my blog light hearted, maybe even throw in a few jokes to keep you laughing, so sorry for being serious. It is just such a crazy thing to feel right now and to really have no idea how to express it. I have no idea if I want to sit here and cry while I am writing this, maybe because I am sad that this is all over, and definitely because I am happy that this whole new thing is starting. Maybe I will just cry for both at the same time. :)
I will be back writing tomorrow probably. Women and Infants has wi fi. I can't promise though. I do promise that Dennis will send people pictures and I will do my best to update with pictures as soon as I can.
Until next time...with my new baby!
PS: Dennis, I love you.
While I am sitting here thinking about this whole journey in my head, I am already forgetting all the sucky things. I guess it is just because this day is what you have been enduring all that for, and that is totally overwhelming.
You have hope when you get married that it will last forever. Why would you ever get married if you didn't think that was possible? But it isn't guarunteed. Becoming a parent is the only thing in life that lasts forever. Even in death, you are still someone's parent, and they are still your child. Although I have felt from the moment we found out we were having a baby that this was my child, there is really nothing like the feeling of today. Beginning today, I will no longer be simply Becky - I have some pretty important "titles" in my life right now - wife, teacher, friend, sister - but now I will add Mom, which is by far the most important one.
I know I usually try to keep my blog light hearted, maybe even throw in a few jokes to keep you laughing, so sorry for being serious. It is just such a crazy thing to feel right now and to really have no idea how to express it. I have no idea if I want to sit here and cry while I am writing this, maybe because I am sad that this is all over, and definitely because I am happy that this whole new thing is starting. Maybe I will just cry for both at the same time. :)
I will be back writing tomorrow probably. Women and Infants has wi fi. I can't promise though. I do promise that Dennis will send people pictures and I will do my best to update with pictures as soon as I can.
Until next time...with my new baby!
PS: Dennis, I love you.
Monday, June 9, 2008
The last days as a pregnant momma...
So today could officially be my last day as a pregnant lady. Hallelujah! I feel like I have been pregnant forever. I sort of have. If you count the miscarriage we had right before getting pregnant with Dominic, it really seems like I have been pregnant for 2 extra months. Still not as long as Leigh though...having 2 babies in like 20 months! :)
I go to the doctor at 1:30 today. Last time I was there, they had said that if I was not in labor before today, they would induce tomorrow night and the baby would be here by Wednesday. That is what I have my heart set on. If they change that, I will kill them. Seriously. Unless of course, it becomes earlier :) Then I will kiss them. I just feel like you can't tell a pregnant woman that she is going to have her baby on one day, and change your mind and make it later. It is mean. It is so annoying to be this pregnant that one day really does make a HUGE difference. I had such a hard time sleeping last night thinking about the possibility of meeting Dominic in the next few days..and then when Dennis left for work I tried to go back to sleep and made it for like an hour..and now I am just crazy with excitement and anticipation. This is going to be the longest morning..
I go to the doctor at 1:30 today. Last time I was there, they had said that if I was not in labor before today, they would induce tomorrow night and the baby would be here by Wednesday. That is what I have my heart set on. If they change that, I will kill them. Seriously. Unless of course, it becomes earlier :) Then I will kiss them. I just feel like you can't tell a pregnant woman that she is going to have her baby on one day, and change your mind and make it later. It is mean. It is so annoying to be this pregnant that one day really does make a HUGE difference. I had such a hard time sleeping last night thinking about the possibility of meeting Dominic in the next few days..and then when Dennis left for work I tried to go back to sleep and made it for like an hour..and now I am just crazy with excitement and anticipation. This is going to be the longest morning..
Thursday, June 5, 2008
A sigh of relief
This morning Dennis and I went in the for the super special ultrasound. So apparently they make all different kinds of ultrasound machines. Most regular ob offices have a regular ultrasound machine. It gets the job done, until they think something might be wrong, then they send you to the super expensive, crazy detailed ultrasound machine. This ultrasound machine is apparently made specifically for baby ultrasounds, as opposed to being used to detect problems in other organs or blood clots in regular people, etc. Anywho, we go...
The ultrasound tech was really nice and explained that she was going to keep the screen facing her while she took all the pictures for the test and after she was finished, she would show us the baby then have the specialist doctor come talk to us about the results. Since the baby is at full term, ultrasounds aren't as exciting as they used to be. Even as a small baby, he is so cramped, it is hard to get detailed images of him so we only looked at him for a minute or so. So the doctor comes in after and says "If your baby isn't too small raise your hand" and I just stared at him and he picked my arm up! Yay!!! Everything came back great for Dominic. He has no blood clots in him, or the placenta, or the umbilical cord. He is measuring in at a little over 5 lbs, which is still pretty small, but it is in the 14th percentile instead of the 10th...and based on observations from other babies, most babies over the 10th percentile still continue on with normal life, they just start out small. A huge sigh of relief. Like he said, this is just an estimate of his weight...so they could be a little off, but everything does look good for him. (Keep in mind that they told Kat Logan was going to weigh like 13 lbs when he was born...and he was like 7 and change) So sometimes they are wrong...but even if they are wrong and he is a little bit smaller, the point is that he is still getting all his nutrients and oxygen and all that because there are no blockages. That is way more important than a couple of ounces.
There was one part of the appointment that wasn't as successful. My amniotic fluid is really low. Basically an average preggo has 10-20 cm of amniotic fluid in her uterus. If it goes below 5cm, they automatically do a C-section and take out the baby because that isn't necessarily enough for him to breath with. I am at 5.9cm. Great. But I am also 4 cm dilated (woo hoo..exciting for the birth, not for walking around like a normal person) so if I am getting close to delivery, then that is ok. He seems to think that I should be ok as long as it is monitored. He was going to call my regular OB to see what they wanted to do. I am assuming since I haven't heard from them, I am ok for now. I am going in on Monday to get the full details of the induction anyway, so maybe that is enough to wait until then. My only concern now is that with a low amount of fluids, they usually feel more comfortable doing a c-section to get the baby out faster so he doesn't aspirate. But honestly, at this point ALL I care about is that he is out safely..and whatever way that has to happen is the way I want.
So overall, this was a day filled with good news. The baby is normal, and wonderful, and healthy and just tini tiny and will be extra fun to snuggle.
The ultrasound tech was really nice and explained that she was going to keep the screen facing her while she took all the pictures for the test and after she was finished, she would show us the baby then have the specialist doctor come talk to us about the results. Since the baby is at full term, ultrasounds aren't as exciting as they used to be. Even as a small baby, he is so cramped, it is hard to get detailed images of him so we only looked at him for a minute or so. So the doctor comes in after and says "If your baby isn't too small raise your hand" and I just stared at him and he picked my arm up! Yay!!! Everything came back great for Dominic. He has no blood clots in him, or the placenta, or the umbilical cord. He is measuring in at a little over 5 lbs, which is still pretty small, but it is in the 14th percentile instead of the 10th...and based on observations from other babies, most babies over the 10th percentile still continue on with normal life, they just start out small. A huge sigh of relief. Like he said, this is just an estimate of his weight...so they could be a little off, but everything does look good for him. (Keep in mind that they told Kat Logan was going to weigh like 13 lbs when he was born...and he was like 7 and change) So sometimes they are wrong...but even if they are wrong and he is a little bit smaller, the point is that he is still getting all his nutrients and oxygen and all that because there are no blockages. That is way more important than a couple of ounces.
There was one part of the appointment that wasn't as successful. My amniotic fluid is really low. Basically an average preggo has 10-20 cm of amniotic fluid in her uterus. If it goes below 5cm, they automatically do a C-section and take out the baby because that isn't necessarily enough for him to breath with. I am at 5.9cm. Great. But I am also 4 cm dilated (woo hoo..exciting for the birth, not for walking around like a normal person) so if I am getting close to delivery, then that is ok. He seems to think that I should be ok as long as it is monitored. He was going to call my regular OB to see what they wanted to do. I am assuming since I haven't heard from them, I am ok for now. I am going in on Monday to get the full details of the induction anyway, so maybe that is enough to wait until then. My only concern now is that with a low amount of fluids, they usually feel more comfortable doing a c-section to get the baby out faster so he doesn't aspirate. But honestly, at this point ALL I care about is that he is out safely..and whatever way that has to happen is the way I want.
So overall, this was a day filled with good news. The baby is normal, and wonderful, and healthy and just tini tiny and will be extra fun to snuggle.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Very Quick Update
Doesn't look like I will have the special ultrasound today. Most likely tomorrow.
I'll let you know :)
I'll let you know :)
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
I'm back :)
So I changed the name of my blog. I am totally copying the host of Chelsea Lately on E!. She wrote a book (#1 on the New York Times right now) called Are you there Vodka? It's me Chelsea. I don't even watch her show...and I haven't read the book. But I saw her on Jay Leno promoting the book and I laughed a lot at the title, because sometimes I really feel that way. Plus, it's fun to take something from your childhood (Are you there God? It's me Margaret.) and make it fun for your adulthood.
Anyway, I have been out of commission because I didn't feel like writing. That's really it. I didn't have anything I wanted to say so that the whole world (that of course reads MY blog) could comment about it. I'm feeling more open and social now.
So exciting news on the baby front: If I don't go into labor before next Tuesday (June 10th) they are going to induce and he will be here on Wednesday June 11!! AAAAAH! I am currently 3 centimeters dilated and the doc said that she would be surprised if I waited all the way til next Tuesday, so we'll see what happens.
The not so great news about this...it seems that the baby has basically stopped growing in the last few weeks. He is only measuring out at about 4.5 to 4.75lbs and should be measuring out at at least 6 to 8 at this point in the pregnancy. They don't know exactly why this is happening. The entire pregnancy I have been monitored extra because of all the blood clot history that I have. I have had ultrasounds at least once a month and sometimes more, and everything has been wonderful. He was growing really well. Basically measuring out in the 75th percentile. Then suddenly he stops, and is measuring out below the 10th percentile for his gestational age. This can be caused by a few things, but they are thinking it is either a blood clot in the umbilical cord or small once in the placenta. The weird thing is that I am on blood thinners to prevent blood clots, BUT the two types I have been taking are made so that they do not travel to the placenta. The placenta is a natural blood clot filter. If any blood clots try to get the baby, the placenta traps them so adding blood thinners that travel through the placenta can cause the baby to have blood that is too thin, which is very dangerous. Anyway, I was on fetal monitoring for a while yesterday and the baby is behaving normally. His heart rate is great and his activity level is high, which means he is not experiencing any kinds of stress from this potential problem. Since he is still behaving normally, they are going to try and wait that extra week to give him a little more time to develop his lungs. I am going for a specific kind of ultra sound tomorrow that also shows the blood flow through the placenta, umbilical cord and baby. I had one of these on my legs when they found the first blood clot I had a few years ago. Very helpful stuff. As long as everything looks normal, we will wait it out until next week. If they see anything that could even suggest potential harm to the baby, I will have him tomorrow. Instinct is telling me that nothing is majorly wrong and it would be much better for him to wait this extra week. But, take that with a grain of salt because I had no feelings that there was a problem to begin with. I swore up and down that I would go into labor on June 17. I was obviously wrong.
Dennis and I are actually dealing with the news really well. We have total faith in whatever higher being we decide to have faith in today, that everything will work out as it should. Stress will not help that. We are very excited to have the opportunity to have our baby, regardless of his size or the potential problems it can pose for his future. Right now, we just have to do our last minute preparations to make everything as comfy for everyone as possible. I know there are a few of you reading this and freaking out (probably Kat ;) ) but honestly it is ok. I'll let you know what happens with the test tomorrow.
Oh and by the way, in the middle of all this, we moved back to my parents. Awesome. Tell you about all that another time.
Anyway, I have been out of commission because I didn't feel like writing. That's really it. I didn't have anything I wanted to say so that the whole world (that of course reads MY blog) could comment about it. I'm feeling more open and social now.
So exciting news on the baby front: If I don't go into labor before next Tuesday (June 10th) they are going to induce and he will be here on Wednesday June 11!! AAAAAH! I am currently 3 centimeters dilated and the doc said that she would be surprised if I waited all the way til next Tuesday, so we'll see what happens.
The not so great news about this...it seems that the baby has basically stopped growing in the last few weeks. He is only measuring out at about 4.5 to 4.75lbs and should be measuring out at at least 6 to 8 at this point in the pregnancy. They don't know exactly why this is happening. The entire pregnancy I have been monitored extra because of all the blood clot history that I have. I have had ultrasounds at least once a month and sometimes more, and everything has been wonderful. He was growing really well. Basically measuring out in the 75th percentile. Then suddenly he stops, and is measuring out below the 10th percentile for his gestational age. This can be caused by a few things, but they are thinking it is either a blood clot in the umbilical cord or small once in the placenta. The weird thing is that I am on blood thinners to prevent blood clots, BUT the two types I have been taking are made so that they do not travel to the placenta. The placenta is a natural blood clot filter. If any blood clots try to get the baby, the placenta traps them so adding blood thinners that travel through the placenta can cause the baby to have blood that is too thin, which is very dangerous. Anyway, I was on fetal monitoring for a while yesterday and the baby is behaving normally. His heart rate is great and his activity level is high, which means he is not experiencing any kinds of stress from this potential problem. Since he is still behaving normally, they are going to try and wait that extra week to give him a little more time to develop his lungs. I am going for a specific kind of ultra sound tomorrow that also shows the blood flow through the placenta, umbilical cord and baby. I had one of these on my legs when they found the first blood clot I had a few years ago. Very helpful stuff. As long as everything looks normal, we will wait it out until next week. If they see anything that could even suggest potential harm to the baby, I will have him tomorrow. Instinct is telling me that nothing is majorly wrong and it would be much better for him to wait this extra week. But, take that with a grain of salt because I had no feelings that there was a problem to begin with. I swore up and down that I would go into labor on June 17. I was obviously wrong.
Dennis and I are actually dealing with the news really well. We have total faith in whatever higher being we decide to have faith in today, that everything will work out as it should. Stress will not help that. We are very excited to have the opportunity to have our baby, regardless of his size or the potential problems it can pose for his future. Right now, we just have to do our last minute preparations to make everything as comfy for everyone as possible. I know there are a few of you reading this and freaking out (probably Kat ;) ) but honestly it is ok. I'll let you know what happens with the test tomorrow.
Oh and by the way, in the middle of all this, we moved back to my parents. Awesome. Tell you about all that another time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
